A few weeks ago I was praying desperately for God to go before Kylie and I as her father re-entered her life. There were countless fears coming at me. Everything from fears for her physical safety, to mental health and even fears that her father would be resentful toward me and retaliate. There was a moment when God broke through those fears and comforted me. It was the moment when I resolved to trust Him, even though bad things might happen. I made a promise to Kylie and to her father. I would not stand in the way of their relationship. I had to keep my promise. Not just to maintain Kylie’s trust and not to hurt her, but because I wanted my witness to be effective for both of them. Why should they believe a liar? The big picture is their salvation. As long as Kylie is safe, I will support her relationship with her father. And, I had to confess to God, I did not want to share my daughter with anyone. Our relationship is so precious to me. I was intimidated by her love for her father and afraid as her affection for him grows, her affection towards me would diminish. God convinced me of my selfishness and reminded me that Kylie and I have built our relationship on love and trust and I can’t be replaced. She can and SHOULD have two parents who love her deeply.

Our visit with him went better than expected. It is only the beginning. I am sure there will be challenging moments, but I trust God to show me if I need to intervene and help her set boundaries. He chose me for Kylie for a reason, but ultimately he is her protector and defender.