Lately, I’ve been worried about so many things. To be honest, there has been a lot of uncertainty in my life, and I have never been comfortable with that. I used to want to believe that I was an adventurous person and that I didn’t need predictability in my life. But the truth is, uncertainty and risk make me very uncomfortable. God has been working on that by putting me in situations that I just have no control over. This is forcing me to lean into him more, to pray more fervently, to seek him and ask for wisdom, knowledge, discernment, and understanding. And sometimes just to ask him to do good as he promises to do. And a few of those things that I’ve been so worried about God has shown me that he is in them and moving and working for me Kylie and my family. My job is working on Making my commute a little easier and allowing me more time at home. We have an education advocate, who is helping us get Kylie through high school for free. And she’s even going to help us create an after high school plan for her. My Grandmother’s health is failing, and we decided to throw a big birthday party for her this weekend. I was very anxious about my family getting along. By God‘s grace, everybody got along well and respected one another. And he helped me to pray over my family and while I did not share the message I had hoped, I did open the door for conversations about God. And I did remind my family that Grandma is a believer and has instilled that belief in many of us. Today I still have worries, but I am trying so hard to continue to lean into God and trust him with the outcome. Kylie‘s father gets out of prison in less than two months. I’ve been trying to make contact with him so that we can make a plan for him to be in her life. I need him to understand there are boundaries. I want to be able to protect her. But he is not responding. My prayer is that God is going ahead of us and with us into this season and that he will protect Kylie. And that he will do what is best for her. I’m praying for wisdom, knowledge, discernment, and understanding so that I know how to nurture that relationship while protecting her. I trust that the Lord loves her dearly and he has a good and perfect plan for Kylie.
Lately, I have been seeing the evidence of the work that he has been doing in her. Her love and her kindness and her empathy have grown tremendously over the past three years and I I’m overjoyed. I am overjoyed because I didn’t know if Kylie would ever come out of the darkness that she had lived in for so long. Kindness and empathy and compassion are often very hard for someone who has not received those things. Kylie has shown me how resilient and strong she is. I’m so proud of her. And I know that the Lord is working on her. One day she will believe and she will love him with all of her heart, soul, mind and strength. I look forwards to that day and I can see it. Until then, I trust the the Lord will lead me so I can teach her. God is faithful, and he has shown me and reminded me that he is the source of our peace protection and provision. Everything good and perfect comes from the father and he is trustworthy.
